A friend sent this to me:
There's a man who’s walking across the Brooklyn bridge when he comes across another guy who is readying himself to jump to his death. Thinking quickly, the passing man says to the jumper, “Brother, don’t do this. Whatever it is, we can talk it out. Are you a man of faith?”
And the would-be jumper says, “Why, yes, yes, I am.”
And the man passing by says, “I am too. See, we’ve already got something in common. Please let’s talk. Are you a Christian, son?”
“I am” says the guy holding onto the railing.
“Protestant or Catholic?” the man passing by says.
“I am a Protestant.” says the other guy.
“See, this is great, I’m a Protestant too. That’s another thing we have in common. Which kind of Protestant: Lutheran, Presbyterian or Baptist?”
“I’m a Presbyterian,” says the would-be jumper with a smile.
“Amazing,” says the passer-by, “so am I. You see, God put us on the bridge for a reason. Hey, what kind of Presbyterian are you, Presbyterian Church of America or PCUSA?”
“I go to a PCUSA church, of course!”
“OK, another amazing coincidence, I’m PCUSA too! OK, here’s one: At the 217th General Assembly Meeting, did you vote for or against the ordination of gays and lesbians?”
Happily the would-be jumper said, “I voted for the ordination of gays and lesbians.”
At which, the passer-by pushed the jumper into the water saying, “Die, heretic scum.”